


Zack and mime bomb go to white castle

by TheReaperWithGlasses



Series: Movie's are life series [1]
Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Drug Use, Enemies to Friends, Epic Bromance, Fast Food, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24419446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheReaperWithGlasses/pseuds/TheReaperWithGlasses
Summary: So this takes place in another universe during the lucky cat caper episode where instead of carman finding mime bomb it's zack and ivy.In addition when they craves the most after seeing a TV advertisement, is a trip to White Castle. So from here, follows a journey for the burgers they require. On their way they will encounter many obstacles including a raccoon, a racist officer, and a horny Neil Patrick Harris.
Relationships: Mime bomb & zack
Series: Movie's are life series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906453
Kudos: 12





	1. How it started

Somewhere in a alleyway.  
Zack "Are you sure carmen just wanted us to wait here?"  
Ivy "Yes she said to wait here incase the enemy walks by."  
Zack "Hey isn't that the guy where suppose to be looking for?"  
Zach points at a mime. Ivy looks down at her phone.  
Ivy "Ya it is."  
Zack "Ok on three, one...two...three."  
Zack jumps out of the alleyway and from behind puts a cloth with cloraform up to his mouth and drags him back into the alleyway, ivy grabs his hands from the front holding him still. It's a couple minutes before he calms down and then a bit longer before he passes out and then they drag him a little farther into the alleyway to put him into the trunk of their car and drive to their hotel.

When they get to the hotel and somehow get him up to their room with out anyone noticing they dump him on the bed.  
Zack "So what do we do now?"   
Ivy "I think we should check him for wires."  
Zack walks over and starts to pat him down.  
Zach "I feel something."  
Zack lifts up his shirt only to find some beef jerky.  
Zack starts to pat him down farther and notices something plastic sticking out of his pants.  
Zack "Hm what's this?"  
Zack pulls down his pants down a bit and sees a bag of weed.  
Zack "Hey ivy look at this."  
He grabs the bag and shows it to ivy.  
Ivy "What the heck?"  
Zack then pulls his pants the rest of the way down, he looks through his pockets and pulls out the stamp and passes it to ivy.  
Zack "Well it doesn't look like he has anything else on him."  
Ivy "We should tie him up before he wakes up."   
Ivy goes into her bag and grabs out four pairs of handcuffs and starts to cuff him to the bed frame.

After a while mime bomb starts to wakes up, zach notices and gets on top of him.  
Zack "Ok mime tell us what you know!"  
Suddenly carmen walks through the door.  
Carmen "Hey guys I'm, WHAT THE HECK!"  
Ivy "Carmen we can explain."  
Mime bomb "(all right weasley twins I can work with this.)"  
Mime bomb leans up and kisses zack, he immediately jumps off of him and backs up.  
Zack "DUDE WHAT THE HECK!"  
Carmen "Ok ivy what's going on?"   
Ivy "Well you told us to wait in the alleyway and if we see him jump him."  
Carmen "Ok and why isn't he wearing a shirt or pants?"  
Ivy "Well we thought it would be a good idea to check him for wires and we found some beef jerky and a bag of weed on him."   
Carmen "Weed?"  
Ivy "Ya we found it under his pants which is why there off."  
Carmen "Mhh ok, that doesn't explain..."  
Ivy "We also found the stamp."  
Carmen "Ok good let's go return it to the charity, Ivy you come with me just in case we get jumped Zack you stay and watch him."  
Zack "But...but..."  
Carmen grabs ivy's hand as she throws the keys to the handcuffs at zack.  
Carmen "be back soon"  
Zack "Man."  
Zack sits down on the couch and turns on the t.v. and starts to channel surf.


	2. The beginning of the end

A little while later.  
Zack "I'm getting hungry."  
T.v. "Are you hungry?"  
Zack "yes."  
T.v. "Then come on down to white castle and try our slyder special, six burgers, fries, and a soft drink for only 2.99. Imagine all those burgers in your stomach right now mmmh. Don't you like food that tastes delicious?"  
Zack "Yes."  
T.v. "Then what are you waiting for?"  
T.v. "Head on over to white castle it's what you crave."  
Zack looks over at mime bomb.  
Zack "You hungry bro?"  
Mime bomb shakes his head yes.  
Zack "All right then where going to white castle."  
Zack reaches for the keys to the handcuffs.  
Zack "If I uncuff you, you have to promise me you will not run away or attack me, promise."  
Mime bomb thinks it over for a minute before shaking his head yes.  
Zack "Ok then"  
He uncuffs the mime from the bed and throws his pants at him. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a set of car keys.  
Zack "let's go"

They take a short walk from there hotel room to a car garage, while on there way they got harassed by someone punks on the street.  
Street punk 1 "Hey look it's two McFags."  
Street punk 2 "let me guess the one in the sweater is the catcher."  
Mime bomb looks at them and starts to roll up his sleeves.  
Zack "No come on man there not worth it"  
They walk a little farther until they reach the garages 3rd floor zack lifts up the keychain and clicks a button.  
Zack "Come to me."  
In the distance a 2016 Subaru starts. They start to walk a little faster to the car, they get in and start it up.  
Zack "Now let's go get some burgers."

Zack "Ok I know this white castle just up a head, man I can't wait to have those beautiful golden burgers."  
They drive to a place loaded with strip malls and fast food places. Just up ahead they see a burger place where the white castle was supposed to be.  
Zack "What no."  
He drives right to the pick up window.  
Burger place employee "fellas you have to order at the drive-thru menu."  
Zack "What happened to white castle?"  
Burger place employee "What?"  
Zack "There use to be a white castle right here in this location where is it?"  
Burger place employee "I hate to be the bare of bad news but burger shack bought this location 4 years ago."  
Zack "Please tell me there's another white castles in town?"  
Burger place employee "No."  
Zack "Shit, what we gonna do?"  
Mime bomb "Do you want to just eat here?"  
The burger place employee looks to the left then the right before leaning in really close.  
Burger place employee "Psss, hey, there's a white castle that's open 24 hours in cherry hill, it's about a 45 minute drive."  
Zack "I can make the trip if you're willing to."  
Mime bomb looks uncertain.  
Zack "Look dude don't think about carmen or vile both don't matter at this moment."  
Burger place employee "If I may interject, as a burger shack employee for the past 3 years, if there's one thing I've learned, if you are craving white castle the burger's here simply won't cut it, in fact just thinking about those tender little white castle burgers and those itty bitty grilled onions that exploded in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one, just makes me want to burn this motherfucker down. He turns to a fellow employee. Come on pocy let's burn this mothefucker down! He runs around like a maniac for a minute before coming back to the window. So uh you I should just suck it up and go to white castle."  
Zack turns his attention back to mime bomb. Mime bomb shakes his head yes with determination in his eyes.  
Burger place employee "Wise choice, because you might have wanted to stay away from are special sauce tonight, me and pocy added a extra ingredient ."  
Mime bomb and zack look at him confused.  
Burger place employee "I'll give you a hint, it's semen hahaha, animal semen."  
Mime bomb and zacks faces turn from confusion to disgust and quickly drive off.

Zack "Ok man that settles it where going to cherry hill."


	3. Chapter 3

-20 minutes later-

Mime bomb leans forward and points to the next exit signaling to tern down it.  
Zack "What no way dude why would we go down "Martin Luther" it be way faster to go down "Abbey road"!"  
Mime bomb signs "look let's say I have a friend down that way that owes me a favor and I intend to use it."  
Zack "What kind of "favor"."  
Mime bomb "That's for me to know, and you to possibly never find out."  
Zack "I don't know dude."  
Mime bomb shoots him a pleading look.  
Zack "Ok fine. Tonight is the night for bad decisions apparently."

Zack terns onto Martin Luther and slows down.  
Zach "If we get shot it's all your fault."  
Mime bomb "It's probably not as bad as it seems. It's probably just all hype."  
Zack "hey check it out." He motions to out the window "those guys look like a lame version of us."  
All of a sudden three thugs jump out of in alleyway with baseball bats, and beats the living daylights out of them.  
Mime bomb "Drive faster, drive faster, drive faster, drive faster."

About 30 minute later zack pulls in to a ivy league school dorms parking lot and parks the car. Mime bomb gets out and signs for him to wait the main entrance as he goes in.

As mime bomb walk down the hall and remembers all the bad things that happened to him in Chicago, all the bad things this person did. But he just has to know are they really here, he was going to check after his mission anyways. He gets to room 246 and only knocks twice before it opens.  
Cindy "Jonathan, long time no see, how you been?"  
Mime bomb "Oh cindy you're just as pleasant as ever, how's the gang?"  
Mime bomb leans over and sees the seven gang members behind her.  
Cindy "Oh you know where having a grand old time in fact where about to head to a party care to join?"  
Before he can answer one of the gang members comes up behind hind cindy.  
Gang member 1 "Is this guy bothering you?"  
Cindy "No, no, don't worry he's in old "friend" and was just coming with us, right?"  
Mime looks between her and the guys behind her and realizes this is exactly like old times.

While zack was waiting by the front gate a hippie looking fellow walks up to him and taps him on the shoulder.  
Hippie "Heeey man looking to toke up?"  
Zack "Oh." He thinks back to what he said in the car "Umm sure."  
The hippie opens his backpack and shows zack a giant plastic bag full of weed.  
Zack "Oh sweet lord."  
The hippie reaches into his bag and pulls out a little baggy half full of the stuff.  
Hippie "80 bucks"  
Zack "80 seems a bit high for that bro," he points to the bag. "I'll give you 40 topps."  
Hippie "Woow I'm not your bro bro. And if you fell like staying sober, go ahead, don't buy it. It's cool with me, I can find lots of people who want to get high. I could smoke this by myself.  
Zack "What kind of hippie are you?"  
Hippie "I'm a business hippie, understand the concept of supply and demand."

As mime bomb, cindy, and the gang walk down the hall cindy starts to talk to mime bomb again.  
Cindy "You know I'm not staying here, I'm actually transferring to sandiego for my last year."  
Mime bomb "Fascinating."  
Cindy "Sigh, why did you leave me, why did you just up and vanish?"  
Mime bomb "I had my reasons."  
Cindy "You could have left a note."  
Mime bomb "You could have left a note when you slept with six guys behind my back."

Zack and the hippie stare each other down. After a couple seconds zack shakes his head in disappointment, he takes out his wallet and all of his money to him. Suddenly two gorgeous twin girls come walking by, with big baby blue eyes and great personalities approach, carrying to takeout bags.

Chirsty "Hi I'm chirsty and this is my friend clarissa, are you two about to smoke?"

Zack and the hippie turn to look at the twins and are stunned by the twins hotness.

Hippie "Yeah want to come back to my place?"  
Zack "Please. like they want to go listen to a bunch of phish records while you read your lame poetry."  
Zack grabs the small bag of weed and shows it to the chicks.  
Zack "You ladies want to get high and have some fun?"  
Chirsty & Clarissa "Sure!"  
Hippie "Hey, my poetry isn't lame it's actually quite good."  
The girls shared a look and clearly aren't convinced. They ignored him and turn to zack. But the hippie is oblivious to the fact he not part of the crowd.  
Chirsty "Where just going to eat before this gets cold. What do you say we meat back in are dorm in around twenty minutes?"  
Clarissa "Where in room 109."  
Zack "109. Got it. I'll see you later."  
Hippie "109 yeah see you then."

The twins walk off. The hippie tries to bump fists with zach like there all of a sudden friends. Zack snubs him and walks off.  
Hippie "20...208 yes 208!"

Zack runs down the hall and finds mime bomb walking with this sluty chick in a little tank top and a couple other thug like looking people behind them and runs over to them.  
Zack "Mime! Mime! You got to come quick, there are these two hot chicks that are totally down to fuck."  
The girl mime bomb is with shoots zack a dirty look.  
Zack "I...mean there are two very lovely ladies who would like to have a chat with you and I."  
Chick "Sorry but "mime bombs" coming with us."  
Zack "I'm sorry who are you?"  
Chick "I'm cindy and who are you?"  
Zack "I'm zack, and no mime bomb is coming with me, isn't that really mime bomb?"  
Cindy gave mime bomb an evil eye, and he is clearly intimidated by her. Mime bomb gives zack a scared smile and leans towards them while never breaking eye contact. He takes a moment for cindy to look away before nodding his head in the other direction.  
Zack "Nope."  
Zack notices an open door nearby. He enters the room and returns a few moments later with a skinny Irish freshman. He pushes the Irish freshman over to cindy.  
Zack "Here this is mime bombs understudy. You can do whatever you want with him."  
He shifts his attention to mime bomb.  
Zack "Let's go."  
Zack grabs mime bombs arm and drags him away with cindy looking pissed. They walk for a little bit before they find a stairwell and have a seat, mime bomb looks at zack in confusion as he pulls out the bag of weed and some paper.  
Zack "Know how to roll?"  
Mime bomb takes the paper and rolls them a joint. When he's done zack takes it back and pulls out a lighter and lights it up.

Zack taking the first hit "I can't believe you where just going to ditch me like that!"  
Mime bomb looks offended "I'm sorry I was under a lot of pressure."  
Zack "Look dude just say no, that's all it takes. Now take a hit of this!"  
Mime bomb takes the joint and goes to take a hit when suddenly the door to the stairwell burst opens and a security guard walks in and sees the two with the drugs.  
Gard "Hey what are you two doing?!"  
Zack and mime bomb look in horror for a moment before taking off running down the stairs and back into the hallway they were previously in. They duck into a nearby womans bathroom and into the middle stall as they wait for the security guard to pass. As they wait they soon hear two voices entering the bathroom, in a split second discussion they climb onto the toilet and decide to wait them out. But unbeknown to them it's christy and clrissa 

Christy "Hurry up I want to go smoke weed with that cute boston bloke."

Clarissa "I'll be a few minutes, I've been holding it for awhile."

"Oh no" Zack mutters barely loud enough for mime bomb to hear.

Clarissa and christy both enter stalls and lock the doors.

Zack "Ok now, quick!" He mutters.

They all but run for the door trying not to be hard as they leave. As they make there way down the hall going back towards there car they see something that stops them dead in there tracks. It's the people mime bomb was walking with having a party in full blast. All of them where grinding with each other as bdm blasts in the background. Zack and mime bomb look at each other in shock as they watch on of the nerdist guys get up on a table holding a big bag of pot brownies.  
Nerdist guy "POT BROWNIES FOR EVERYONE!"  
Hes stars throwing the brownies at the crowd. Two cute Asian chicks approach the nerd guy.  
Miya "Hey jack can we have some brownies?"  
Jack "Hmmm I'm running pretty low, but a quick titty flash might persuade me."

The two Korean chicks look at each other sharing in evil grin, before they lift up there shirts and bras.   
Zack "Dude I think you made a mistake not going to that party."  
Mime bomb shoots him a dirty look and suddenly his eyes shift to the security guards down the hall. He quickly terns zack's attention to it but by then the security guards have noticed them and have started running towards them.  
Security guards "Stop you've violated the law."  
Zack and mime bomb book it for there car.

As they run past the party everyone takes notice including cindy.  
Cindy "Mime bomb!"  
They keep running past the bathrooms where christy and clrissa are exit.  
Christy & Clarissa "Zack!"  
They continue running with the guards hot on their trail and as their ten feet from the exit the hippie dude walks in front of them.  
Hippie "Hey do you know where room 198 is?"  
They is about to avoid him but zack grabs mime bomb and pulls him close and they bash into him, knocking him on his back as they burst out of the building. The security guards run by the hippie and is going to run by him but stops when they see his half open backpack and notices the giant bag of weed and stop to get him instead.  
Security guard 1 "hold his throat and groin come on rookie."

Zack and mime bomb make it back to there can and starts to drive away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this long chapter :3  
> Remember comments make the creator happy :3


	4. New faces

Zack and mime bomb are driving for a good while before zack pulls over.  
Mime bomb shoots him a questioning look.  
Zack "What I need to take a leek."  
Zack gets out of the car, and without realizing it his door doesn't shut all the way, and with it not shut all the way a raccoon climbs in without mime bomb realizing it. He walks about fifteen yards into the forest till he finds a nice bush. Suddenly a guy in suit walks over to him from deeper into the woods. The man begins to do his business as well standing less than two feet away from zack. Zack looks over at this man in utter confusion, the man continues to go about his business as if nothing is happening.  
Zack "Excuse me... I'm sorry, I just have to ask you... why are you peeing here?"  
Creepy Dude "What?"  
Zack "Why are you peeing right next to me, why not that bush over there?"  
Creepy Dude "Well it looked like a good bush to pee on, why'd you choose this bush?"  
Zack "Nobody was here when I chose this bush."  
Creepy Dude "So you can pee hear but nobody else can, is that!"  
Zack "I was just saying..."  
Creepy Dude "You have a special bond with this bush!?"  
Zack "No I just..."  
Creepy Dude "YOU THE KING OF THE FOREST!?"  
Zack "I'm sorry?"  
Creepy Dude "What?"  
Zack "I don't..."  
Creepy Dude "IS THIS YOUR SPECIAL BUSH!"  
Zack "Forget it I don't feel like getting stabbed tonight."  
The pee in silence for a couple seconds before the guy looks over at zack.  
Creepy Dude "Nice penis."  
Zack "Thanks."  
Zack finishes his business, walks back to car and begins to drive down the street.

Mime bomb "Do you know where where going?"  
Zack "I'll be honest, I'm a little lost. But don't worry, once we get back to the highway will be there soon."  
Mime bomb gives him a skeptical look, as all of a sudden thunder strikes in the distance and it begins to downpour.   
Mime bomb "sigh"  
Zack "Look I get it, you're stressed we've gone through a lot of shit tonight and it's going to be more shit when we get back, because let's face it carmen and ivy are probably back at the hotel bye now and are plotting one of are deaths. But hey I have the highway in sight will be at white castle soon. Nothing else can go wrong."  
At that moment the raccoon jumps out from under mime bombs seat crawls onto his chest and bites him on the neck.  
Zack "OH SHIT!"  
Mime bomb "Girliest scream in existence."  
Zack swerves the car and almost hits a nearby tree trying, while trying to pry the raccoon away from his neck. It takes a minute before there able to pry the raccoon away from his neck and toss it out the car. Zack moves closer to mime bomb and trys to calm him down.  
Zack "Ok let me take a look."

Looking at mime bombs neck "Don't worry it didn't break skin."  
Mime bomb let's out a sigh of relief as zack begins to drive again, but all to soon do they see a pair of head lights barreling towards them.  
Zack "Shit!"  
Zack immediately hit the brakes as dose the other car, the two look at each other breathing heavily. They watch nervously as the other driver gets out and walks over to their car. The other driver taps on the window and zack slowly rolls it down.

Le chevre "What the hell do you think you where doing you almost killed us!"  
Le chevre gets a closer look at the fact it's mime bomb and zack.  
Le chevre "Oh. Babe it's mime bomb and the boston boy."  
El topo gets out of the car and walks over to them, mime bomb and zach also get out of there car.  
Mime bomb "What the hell are you guys doing here?"  
Le chevre "What?"  
Zack "What the hell are you guys doing here?"  
El topo "We finish are mission early and got hungry, so we're going to get some food before we call it."  
Le chevre "Yeah where just trying to get to hotdogs heaven, you?"  
Zack "White castle."  
Le chevre "Well will let you guys get back to that, see you later."

El topo to le chevre on there way back to there car "I don't remember if the boston one being is an operative."  
They get back into the car.  
Le chevre "Do you really want to think about that right now?"  
He leans over and kisses him.  
El topo "No."


	5. How the night goes from weird to bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little warning a questionable sean, I promise no porn.

Zack and mime bomb get back in there car and get back on the highway. They drive for a few minutes before they eventually hit a town. While they stop at a red light zack quickly takes in his surroundings and notices the local theater is playing, John Hughes "Retrospective" and "Sixteen Candles". As there looking at the people getting out of the building not so quickly as it seems to have stopped raining at some point mime bomb notices yet another operative leaving as well.

Mime bomb "Hey I know that guy!"  
Zack "Oh really who is he?"  
Mime bomb "It's neil the eel, he and I did a long term missions together."  
Mime bomb signed with a small smile.  
Zack "Oh did something happen?"  
Mime bomb "I mean, I guess you could say that."

The light terns green and they start driving again.   
Zack "So you and this neil guy, was it serious?"  
Mime bomb "It shouldn't have been, it was only a week but it felt so much longer, my time with him was other worldly."

As there driving away from the small town it starts to become night fall and the moment zack flips the headlights on a squirrel jumps in front of the car, as zack trys to swerve around it the car begins to shake causing them to flys down a dirt and rock covered hill, and zack trys to stear them down the hill. Finally they reach the bottom of the hill near a dirt road.   
Mime bomb "Dude we could have been seriously injured right there!"  
Zack "I know, calm down let me try and get us back on the highway."

Zack presses on the gas and then they here a pop of one of the tiers popping. The two boys look at each other angry and frustrated, as they get out of the car to examine the tire. They look at it for a moment before zack goes to the truck to get the spare, when he suddenly realizes it's missing.  
Zack "Where's my spare?"  
Mime bomb "How should I know?"  
Zack "Shit where the hell is it?"  
Then it suddenly donned on him, he knew exactly where the spare was.   
Zack "Oh yeah we had to use it for a caper, when we stripped that guy tired him up and sent him down the river."  
Mime bomb "I do not remember hearing about this."  
Zack "Yeah it wasn't exactly a vile caper, shit well what the hell are we going to do now?"

Suddenly they see in old pickup truck driving in there direction. Zack and mime bomb look at each other and share the same brain cell and decided to wave it down. The truck stops in front of them and when the door opens a shadowy figure starts walking towards them. Zack and mime bombs hearts start racing out of fear and as soon as the figure reaches them lightning strikes. Hes a creepy man in his fifties, wearing a crappy mech cap and a old mechanic's outfit, but most notably would be the larger bumps and boils all over his face.   
Creepy man "You boys need some help?"

The creepy man tows zack's subaru down the dirt road. The creepy man is driving with zack up against the window and mime bomb sandwiched between the two, as there was no back seat.   
Zack "Thanks for helping us out."  
Creepy man "Oh no problem at all, saw you to boys stranded out there alone in the dark and thought to myself "What would jesus do?"."  
The boys look between the to of them and look to the jesus christ bobble-head on the dashboard.  
Creepy man "Have you boys excepted jesus christ as your lord and savior?"  
There's a moment of awkwardn silence as the boys don't know how to respond.  
Zack "Yeah."  
Mime bomb gives a quick thumbs up.   
Creepy Dude "Great, good to hear it. The names randy... everybody calls me freakshow."  
Zack "I'm zack, this mime bomb, good to meet you mr... freakshow."  
Freakshow "Pleasures all mine."

After awhile zack starts to notice that they're driving in the middle of a dark woods, and has the overwhelming feeling that there going to get stabbe.  
Zack "Where exactly are we going?"  
Freakshow "Don't worry, my place isn't to far from here. Once where there, I'll have your ride fixed up in a jiffy."

Once they get to freakshow's house, zack and mime bomb stand next to the car while freakshow grabs out some tools, and a new tire from inside his house.  
Freakshow "Now it's going to take me a little while here, so if you boys want to go inside, wash up, fuck my wife, have something to drink, watch t.v.-- anything you want mi casa es su casa. Just don't do anything jesus wouldn't do.  
Zack and mime bomb start walking towards the house.  
Mime bomb "Where going to die, he's going to kill us, and where going to die."  
Zack "Am I deaf of did just saw we get to fuck his wife?"  
Mime bomb "He couldn't have said that."

Zack and mime bomb walk inside the house which is decked out in wall to wall jesus decor. In the corner of the front room playing a organ is a petite blonde girl, in small jean shorts, and blue button down blouse. The boys take a step closer and girl terns around.  
Girl "Hi I'm freakshow's wife liane, can I get you some pink lemonade?"  
Mime bomb perks up at the sound of something pink while zack takes a moment to find his words.  
Mime bomb "Yes please."  
Liane "Sorry I didn't understand sign language, how about I just go get the pitcher."  
Liane leaves for the kitchen. Along the way she turns on a record player, which starts playing a really creepy song about jesus.  
Mime bomb "So this place is kind weird."  
Zack "Dude, liana is fucking hot."  
Mime bomb "She's not bad, kinda reminds me of my ex."  
Liane then comes in with a pitcher of lemonade, and she pours them both drinks and hands it to them.  
Zack "Thanks, so tell me liane- how are things between you and freakshow?"  
Liane "Oh never better, we love each other very much."  
Zack "So if you don't mind me asking how does a man... like freakshow... end up with a woman like yourself?"  
Liane "Well I met him at choir practice, about four years ago. Freakshow was very shy back then because of all the boils on his face and neck. But he had the most amazing voice, like a baby canary. Well one day after easter server, I told him how much I enjoyed his solo, and he mastered up some courage and asked me out. The rest is history, we've been in love ever since."  
Zack thinks for a moment on what he just hired and mime bomb just smiles at the cute love story.  
Liane "So you boys going to fuck me or what?"  
Zack and mime bomb look at each other in complete shock, and zack turns to mime bomb quickly.  
Zack "Rock, paper, scissors to see who goes first?"  
Mime bomb "Wait what about freakshow, and this whole christian thing you got going on?"  
Zack "Right wait what about freakshow, and this whole christian thing you got going on?"  
Liane "Oh so just because we're passionate about are lord we don't know how to have a good time?"  
Liane starts slowly unbuttoning her shirt. Zack starts blushing and mime bomb looks away and tries to focus on literally anything but the sight in front of him, he takes a look out the window at freakshow changing the tier, apparently busy.  
Mime bomb "I guess."  
Liane "Sorry if you boys want me, you gotta do me at the same time."  
Zack "Huh?"  
Liane "Give me that double stuff."  
Zack "I'm not sure what we quite understand mama."  
Liane "I want you both inside me Simultaneously."  
Zack and mime bomb look at each other confused and kind disturbed.  
Zack "Are we talking one hole or two?"  
Liane "Whatever you want."  
Mime bomb start shaking his head no.  
Zack "Dude two holes might not be that bad, shotgun anus!"  
Mime bomb "Forget it I don't want are balls rubbing against each other."  
Zack turns to liane in desperation.  
Zack "What about blow jobs?"  
Liane "Well... ok." she turns to mime bomb "can you help me with this?"  
Liane pulls mime bomb up and brings his hand to her chest, where he gets the message to unbutton her shirt, and then she pull her shirt open to reveal her breasts.  
Liane "Do you want to play with them?"  
Mime bomb shakes his head yes. Liane takes mime bombs hands and puts them on her breasts, zack looks on enviously. Liane moans in pleasure as mime bomb start to massage her breasts.

At that moment freakshow walks in holding a particularly threatening tire-iron.  
Freakshow "Hey boys I changed your tire..."  
Freakshow sees mime bomb with liane.  
Freakshow "What the hell are you doing with my wife!"  
Zack "Outside you said that we could have sex with her!"  
Freakshow runs over to mime bomb and picks him up by his collar.  
Freakshow "I most certainly did not say that!"  
Zack "No you did we both heard you."  
Freakshow "Are you sure?"  
Mime bomb shakes in head yes. Freakshow ponders this for a moment.  
Freakshow "HA HA, my mistake."  
Zack "No problem."  
Freakshow "Well sens where all here, why not make it a foursome?"  
Freakshow unzips his mechanics uniform and lets it fall to the ground. Zack and mime bomb waste no time running out of the house and to there car as fast as they can, and the moment they reach the car, they speed down the road.  
Zack "Ok let's agree to never talk about that again."  
Mime bomb "Agreed."


	6. If this where tumblr it be two or three chapters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologies if my hindus off I used a free translator on the internet.  
> Enjoy the chapter :3

The two are driving fast dow the dirt road and slow down as soon as they hit pavement. Zack looks from right to left a little confused before driving left, and quickly stopping because of a red light.  
Mime bomb "Do you know where you're going?"  
Zack "Hey look a hitchhiker, should we pick him up?"  
Mime bomb "And get chopped into bits, are you crazy?"  
Zack waves the guy over.  
Zack "Look where still a little lost, maybe he knows how to get us on the right road."

The back door opens and then neil patric harris gets into the car.  
Neil "Yo man, thanks for picking me up."  
Zack and mime bomb look at neil and then at each other in complete shock, the light also turns green and they go.  
Zack "Uh...excuse me..but are you neil patric harris?"  
Neil "Yep."  
Zack "Holy shit dude, Doogie Howser, H.D. was my favorite T.V. show growing up, you where my idol!"  
Neil "Hey that's great, do you think we can get going, I'm bored as shit back here."  
Zack pick ups speed.

Zack "So neil, I have to ask you... did you ever get with Wanda off set?"  
Neil "Dude I got with everyone on that show."  
Mime bomb "Even the chick who played the hot nurse?"  
Neil stares at mime bomb in confusion not understanding sign language.  
Zack "Even the chick who played the hot nurse?"  
Neil looks down dramatically "No I didn't go all the way with her."  
Zack "Hey by any chance do you know how to get to the main road?"  
Neil "I don't even know where the fuck I am right now, I was at this party earlier tonight and this dude hooked me up with some killer X, somehow I ended up getting thrown out of a moving car and I've been tripping ever since."  
Mime bomb shoots zack a quick look of skepticism.  
Zack "That's crazy dude, we've been having a pretty crazy night to, we've just been driving around looking for white castle but we keep getting sidetracked."  
Neil "Yeah dude you fascinate me, forget white castle let's go get laid it's a sausage fest in here, let's go get laid then go get white castle."  
Zack "No neil you don't understand we've been craving these burgers all night."  
Neil "Uh come on dudes let's go to a strip club it'll be fun."  
Zack "Oh look a gas station I'm going to see if I can get directions."  
Neil "What, we don't need, oh my god..."  
Zack pulls into the gas station, and he and mime bomb get out.  
Zack "Will be right back"

Mime bomb "What's the deal with neil patric harris?"  
Zack "I don't know but we can't let him interfere with are quest."  
Suddenly a yellow jeep drives right by them and they have to jump out of the way. The street punk (Cole) parks the jeep and exits with two of the extreme sports punks.  
Zack "Oh god not these guys again."  
Cole "Late night math league nerds?"  
Street punk 1 "Ha ha extreme."

They brace themselves before entering the store, where they see cole and the street punks knocking over random items from the shelves and they hear the guy behind the counter telling them to please buy it. They begin playing hackeysack a bag of chips when street punk 2 notices them.  
Street punk 2 "Pterodactyl Screech."  
They roll there eyes as they walk to the old Indian man working the register.  
Zack "What was that a pterodactyl?"  
Mime bomb "I do not know."

Zack "Excuse me can you tell us how to get back to the main road from here?"  
The man gives them a strange look.  
Zack "Uuuuh, excuse me sir क्या आप जानते हैं कि मुख्य सड़क पर आने का कोई मौका खरीदें?"  
The cashier "ओह बेशक आप बाईं ओर जाते हैं, फिर दाएं फिर बाएं फिर से सीधे दो रोशनी से गुजरते हैं और फिर दाएं फिर से."  
Mime bomb gives zack a strange look.  
Zack "I was really into Bollywood when I was a teenager."  
Zack goes back to talking with the cashier.  
Mime bomb looks behind them and gets nervous as he notices the street punks carry in a kayak to the back of the store. Mime bomb has no idea what's going on. Zack and the cashier are to busy to notice. Mime bomb watches nervously as cole puts on a helmet and gets in the kayak.  
Zack" Apparently the main road is like a couple traffic lights from here we could be in charry hill in like ten minutes."

Cole & street punk "Three, two, one."  
Cole "Extreme kayaking!"  
Zack and the cashier immediately turn and look at cole, who is in the kayak which is being held up by the street punks, but not for long as the moment they tern around they launch it into the air. In slow motion cole is nocking over chips and pop and ect.  
Cole "Man that was so fucking extreme." Cole says as he get of the kayak which has crashed into a display box.  
Street punk 1 "On a scale of one to ten, one being not so extreme ten being extremely extreme, I give us a nine point five!" He looks over and grabs a bag of chips "Hey look extreme cheddar, woo!"  
He opens the chip bag and begins to eat.  
The cashier goes running to them from his spot behind the counter.  
Cole "Extreme cashier!"  
Cole picks up this small man in his late fifties and begins to spin around with him.

Mime bomb "Somebody should do something."  
Cole puts him down.  
Zack "You're right, hey asshole why don't you leave that guy alone and go fail at some snowboarding moves or something."  
Street punks "Ooooo"  
Mime bomb "I didn't mean you should do something about it."  
Cole slowly walks over to zack and makes a motion as if he wher going to hit him, trying to get him to flinch. Zack stands his ground without flinching looking cole in the eye. The punks don't know what to think as there leader is shown up.  
Seemingly impressed by zack, cole begins to turn around as if to walk away, but he quickly dubble back, doing the same fake punch as before. This time caught off guard zack flinches and the street punks laugh at him.  
Zack "Shit."  
Cole "Yeah that's right bitch, try fucking with me and one more time, just try it."  
Cole jumps up and down gloating and pounding on his chest.  
Mime bomb "Come on let's get out of here."  
Zach and mime bomb walk out of the store defeated. With their leader victorious, the punks begin to celebrate.  
Cole in a bad Boston accident "Come agen."

Zack and mime bomb make there way to there car.  
Mime bomb "Zack, you ok?"  
Zack "Yeah I just hate those guys, fuck it at least now we know where where going, gosh I'm so friggin hungry."  
Suddenly they hear a car engine start. Zack and mime bomb stop and look over at zack's car and they see neil sitting in the driver's seat. They watch as he puts the car into drive, hits the gas, and takes off.  
Mime bomb "Did doogie howser just steal your car?"  
Zack "I think he did."  
Mime bomb "F***, we had to pick up a hitchhiker!"  
Zack "Ok, calm down."  
Mime bomb "Why the heck did you leave the keys in the car?!"  
Zack "I figured neil patric harris was a trust worthy guy. How was I supposed to know he'd fuck us over?"  
Mime bomb "This is all your fault, this hole night, just a simple go in get out missin but no, I had to go this crazy road trip and viles probably been tracking my every move, and I'm going to get my mind wiped for it."  
Mime bomb turns around and start to walk back to the convenient store.  
Zack "Where are you going?"  
Mime bomb "I going to call tigress, maybe if I start thinking now I can come up with a lie so I won't end up dead."  
Mime bomb is about to walk in, when he sees cole wind up and throw a hostess-like snowball right in the cashier's face."  
Zack "There's a pay phone across the street, if you don't want to deal with those guys."

Mime bomb turns and walks towards the street. Zack walks with him, keeping his distance. They reach the street and on the other side they see a big orange "Don't Walk" sigh lit up. Mime bomb presses the "Walk" button next to them.  
Zack "So... after you talk to tigress you still want to go get white castle?"  
Mime bomb "I'm not talking to you."  
Mime bomb waits for the "Don't Walk" sign to change, but it doesn't. He starts pressing the "Walk" button repeatedly"  
Mime bomb "Jesus christ when are they going to develop botton technology that'll understand urgency?"  
The "Don't Walk" sign still won't change. Zack looks to the right and left. The street is completely empty and there is no place for a car to hide.  
Zack "This is ridiculous, just walk across."  
Mime bomb "It'll change in a second."  
It does not.  
Zack "Come on there's not a car in sight!"  
Mime bomb "Fine you want me to cross, you want me to cross, I will cross, if it makes you happy I will cross."  
Mime bomb get not one foot on to the streets when a police car from out of nowhere flash's it's lights and stops mime bomb dead in his tracks. Mime bomb walks back over to zack very much upset with him, as officer palumbo gets out of the car and walk over to them. Mime bomb quickly looks at the name badge.  
Mime bomb "Good evening is there a problem officer... palumbo?"  
Officer palumbo stands there and gives mime bomb a weird look as he sighs at him.  
Zack "Um my friend is mute, is there a problem officer palumbo?"  
Officer palumbo "Is there a problem, ever here of jaywalking?"  
Zack "Yes I'm sorry it'll never happen again."  
Officer palumbo "That's great, I'm writing you up a ticket." He said while pointing this pen at mime bomb.  
Zack "A ticket are you serious?"  
Officer palumbo "Yes I am."  
Officer palumbo starts to write up ticket.  
Mime bomb "Hey tell him about neil."  
Zack "Um hey actually while we have you here we'd like to report a crime of grand theft auto, you know the show doogie howser, M.D.-"  
Officer palumbo "Yeah great show, love that show."  
Zack "Neil patric harris stole my car tonight."  
Officer palumbo "Ph wouldn't do that alright, now you give me some ID." he says pointing at mime bomb.  
Zack "Excuse me how can you give him a ticket for jaywalking it's two thirty in the morning, and there's not a car in sight."  
Officer palumbo "That's not the kind of tone you want to use on a cop who could bust your ass."  
Zack "Bust my ass?!"  
Officer palumbo "Yeah bust your ass."  
Mime bomb gives him his ID.  
Officer palumbo "Don Jovi"  
Don jovi is starting to pacify palumbo.  
Officer palumbo "Yes don, that's a great name, you should take care of that name."  
Mime bomb smiles and shakes his head. Officer palumbo hands mime bomb the ticket and begins to walk away.  
Officer palumbo "As you where ladies."  
Zack leans over and looks at the ticket.  
Zack "220 dollars, are you crazy!"  
Palumbo quickly turns around and starts to walk back, and zack would get up in his face if it wasn't for mime bombs arm across his chest.  
Zack "Excuse me officer let me take a couple guesses at-"  
Mime bomb steps partially in front of zack.  
Officer palumbo "A, A, back it up no sudden movements."  
Mime bomb movie away.  
Zack "You where probably the big asshole in your highschool, right?"  
Officer palumbo "Absolutely right."  
Zack "You'd pick on guys like us every day, right?"  
Officer palumbo "With pleasure."  
Zack "But then graduation day came and we went to college and you went no where, so you thought, "How can I still give them shit, I know I'll become a cop!" well congratulations, you're dream has come true." Zack puts his arm around mime bomb "Now why don't you take this extremely quiet irish guy, with a good name, and give him a couple other tickets, better yet just take him to jail."  
With that mime bomb takes a swing at zack, but zack sees it coming and ducks, meaning he hits officer palumbo square in the jaw.  
Mime bomb "Shit."

Mime watches from behind bars as officer palumbo deals with the hippie, who is in his underwear and clutching his empty bag for dear life, and his mom who looks very disappointed. The hippies mom hands officer palumbo a check.  
Officer palumbo "Thank you, Mrs. Oglethorpe, your donation to are police charity is very much appreciated."  
Mrs. Oglethorpe "Well thank you for being so understanding about bradley, I promise you he won't ever do that again."  
Officer palumbo "I'm sure he won't, expeshily not after the talk we had." He smacks brads hand as it goes for the bag of weed on the table. "Right brad?" Officer palumbo asks.  
Officer palumbo shoots bradley a threatening look.  
Brad "Mom, please take me home..."  
Mrs. Oglethorpe leaves with brad clinging to her like a frightened child. Officer palumbo shakes his head in disappointment and turns on the TV.   
TV announcer "The search for the escaped cheetah continues tonight it was last spotted in Randolph county south-"

Mime bomb terns his attention to his other cellmate who is a black man reading a book called "Essos on civil disobedience".  
Cellmate "The names tarik, would you like to question why I'm in here?"  
Mime bomb gives him a puzzled look.  
Tarik "For being black."  
Mime bomb gives him even more of a puzzled look but whith a hint of curiosity.  
Tarik sits up and looks at officer palumbo who, whith his ear buds in is obvious to there conversation.  
Tarik "I'm serious, I was walking out of a barns and noble and a cop stopped me, evidently, a black man robbed a store in newark, therefore sense I'm black it was probably me right?"  
Mime bomb shrugs his shoulders.  
Tarik "Well that was the logic the cop used, I told him I hadn't been to newark in months, he pointed a gun at me and told me stop resisting arrest, I said "hey I'm not resisting anything," so he starts beating me with his gun, screaming at me, telling me to stop resisting."  
Mime bomb gives him a look of horror.  
Tarik "I kept saying "I understand I'm under arrest now please stop beating me."  
Mime bomb gives him a look of pity and confusion.  
Tarik "Son I'm fat, I'm black, I can't dance, and I have two gay fathers, I've had people messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago, there's no point getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiot's give you a hard time, in the end the universe tends to unfold as it should, plus I have a really big dick and that keeps me happy.  
Mime bomb takes it all in.

Suddenly another officer burst in through a door.  
Officer 1 "Hey, hey listen up guys, multiple gunshots fired down at millbrook park!"  
Officer palumbo "Finely some action, I'm going!"  
Officer 2 "No I'm going!"  
All six officers jump out from their desks and run for the door. Mime bomb and tarik can't believe it, as they are now left alone in their cell.

Mime bomb "Well that was strange."  
Suddenly a loud bang is heard from the ventilation system on the ceiling over one of the cops desks.   
Zack "Hey mime bomb you down there?"  
Soon mime bomb sees zack looking down at him from behind the grate.  
Mime bomb "Zack what the heck are you doing?"  
Zack "Are the cops still there?"  
Mime bomb "No they... wait a minute, did you..."  
Zack "I called and made up some story about a shooting in millbrook park."  
Mime bomb "What did you do that for!"  
Zack "I'm fucking starving, I figured I'd bust you out and we get some burgers."  
Mime bomb "forget it I'm not getting into any more trouble, I'm already in here because of you."   
Zack "Hey fuck you, what did you want me to do, stand there and take the hit?"  
A couple of banging sounds can be heard from the vent and the ventilation shaft breaks off from the sealing and zack is falling to the ground.  
Zack "Ow."

Zack walks over to mime bomb.  
Zack "Sure you don't want to get out of here?"  
Mime bomb "And become a fugitive and tik vile off even more are you crazy, besides these guys have all my information."  
Mime bomb points to officer palumbos desk which has his communicator on it along with a note pad.   
Zack "So will just take what they wrote down about you and leave, unless you want to stay here and end up like crackle."  
Mime bomb "Low blow... fine hurry up."  
Zack "Yes, alright, got to find keys."  
Zack goes over to officer palumbos desk and finds a big metal key ring, with ten keys on it.  
Zack "Yes I was hoping it would be one of these big key rings."  
Zack trys two of the ten keys and the door opens.  
Zack trys two of the ten keys and they hear a click. Zack goes to open the door when something catches his eye, he walks back over to officer palumbos desk and sees the big bag of weed and grabs it.  
Zack "This can be useful."  
Mime bomb "Zack...zack, still in jail asshole."  
Suddenly all six police officers come back into the room, pushing a black man wearing pajamas. 

Officer palumbo "You thought you could get away with this, huh?"  
Guy in pajamas "I was in bed I didn't fire any gun, I swear."  
Officer 2 looks up at the jail cell.  
Officer 2 "Look!"  
All the cops turn to the cell, zack is still holding the weed. Neither zack nor mime know what to do and are scared out of their minds.  
Officer palumbo "Shit tariks trying to escape!"  
Tarik looks up from his book.  
Tarik "What you talking about I'm just sittin here?"  
Officer palumbo "He's trying to break free!"  
The cops handcuff the guy in pajamas to a chair storm the room. Mime bomb steps back confused. Tarik leans against the wall ready to be handcuffed. In the mist of it all mime bomb runs out the open door and towards the exit as zack grabs his stuff and the police report.   
Zack "Maybe we should do something about this?"  
The guy in pajamas "If I where you I would just get out of here."  
They take one last look at the cops and with that there off.


	7. Last chapter

Zack and mime bomb burst out the door and race down the steps, they race through the streets and start hedgin towards the forest.  
Zack "Hury up!"  
After awhile zack and mime bomb stop running, and try to catch there breath.  
Mime bomb "Hey thanks for getting me out of there."  
Zack "Hey the burger's probably wouldn't taste as good if you weren't there."  
Zack looks at the big bag of weed.  
Zack "I don't remember why I grabbed this."  
Suddenly, they hear what sounds like a coyote in the distance.

Mime bomb "What's that?"  
Zack "Probably just a coyote."  
Mime bomb "Aren't people supposed to be scared of coyotes?"  
Zack "That's only because they sound scary. In one on one combat, ether one of us can take down a coyote."  
Then a cheetah jumps out from behind the bushes and let's out a monstrous roar.  
Zack "Now cheetahs are another story!"  
The cheetah hisses at zack and mime bomb.  
Mime bomb "Where going to die."  
Zack "No, no, no hold on, cheetahs are used to eating zebras and shit. There not known for eating human."  
Whith that the cheetah walks over to a nearby bush and pulls out the lower half of a body.  
Mime bomb "Where going to die."  
Zack "Shit that's not a good sign, maybe if we just stay really, really still it'll go away."  
Zack and mime bomb stay as quiet as possible, as the cheetah starts walking toward mime bomb.  
Mime bomb "This isn't working!"  
Zack "Calm down."  
The cheetah opens it's mouth wide and chomps down on what appears to be mime bombs thigh area.  
Mime bombs eyes go wide as he tries not to scream. This goes on for about ten seconds until mime bomb looks down and notices that the cheetah is in fact not eating him. His is eating beef jerky that was in his pants. Mime bomb falls to the ground relieved that he hasn't be eaten. The cheetah walks over to him and starts liking his face in friendship.  
Zack "why do you still have beef jerky?"  
Mime bomb "Oh I hid it in my pants and the cops thought it was my..."  
Zack "But why?"  
Mime bomb "Didn't know if I was going to get hungry."  
Suddenly zack's eyes light up.  
Zack "I have in idea."

"This is ether a really smart move or by far the stupidest thing we've done tonight." Mime bomb signed on the back of the cheetah, hugging zack by the waste. Zack now has his belt around the cheetah's neck like a riding horse.  
Zack "Where about to find out, mush!"  
Nothing happens.  
Mime bomb "I told you this was s-"  
The cheetah takes off like lightning with zack and mime bomb on it's back. Even though it makes absolute no sense, the cheetah starts zooming past streets and forests. Over major highways and cars. Zack, mime bomb, and the cheetah hit forest area again when, SMACK! Branch hits mime bomb right in the face, knocking him off the cheetah. Mime bomb lands on the ground, hitting his head and knocking him unconscious.

All of a sudden it's all black and mime bomb begins to fall down a pit of darkness, it doesn't take long for him a hard red concrete floor. It takes him a moment to get up but when he does he notices hes in a long red tinted hallway with red doors. He starts to walk down the hallway and opens one of the doors to his left, in there is him from a couple weeks ago when he was on that mission with neil there sitting on a roof of a abandoned factory watching the sunrise a stolen bottle of liquor between them. 

Neil "So you want to tell me what you deal is?"  
Mime bomb looks down off the edge and tenses up.  
Neil "Look I'm not going to force it out of you but it would make a lot of this easier."  
Neil grabs the bottle and takes a drink.  
Mime bomb "It... it was a lot of things vile, my dad, all of my life, just being ignored by everyone and yelled at slash loved by my dad plus being punished for just being alive at vile, just caused so much hurt."  
Neil "Man that sounds bad."  
He passes mime bomb the bottle. Mime bomb just stares at it not sure what to do.  
Neil "Oh come on, yes, no?"  
Mime bomb grabs the bottle and takes a little sip.  
Neil "Heh, you're cute."  
Mime bomb looks away but you can kinda see the blush from under his makeup.  
Neil "No I mean it, you're absolutely adorable."  
Neil takes mime bombs chin and forces him to look at him. He also uses this opportunity to pull there faces closer.  
Neil "You ever around someone that makes you feel like you can barely breathe?"  
Mime bomb closes the gap between them and kisses him. Neil goes down and starts to kiss his neck and all of a sudden mime bomb feels him licking which is something he doesn't remember.  
Neil "Mime bomb, mime bomb."

Mime bomb wakes up to find zack licking his face and pushes him away.  
Mime bomb "What the hell are you doing!"  
Zack "I'm sorry you've been out cold for the past half-hour, I figured maybe if I did some gay stuff you'd wake up."  
Mime bomb wipes his face with his sleeve. He gets up and notices there by a random road, all by themselves.  
Mime bomb "What happened to the cheetah?"  
Zack "It ran away, but forget about that, I have bad news and I have worse news."  
Mime bomb "What's the worse news?"  
Zack "Well I checked out some road signs and it looks like the cheetah took us in the wrong direction."  
Mime bomb "Well that sucks, what's the bad news?"  
Zack "You're communicator thingy is completely destroyed."  
Mime bomb "What!"  
Zack "You landed on it when you fell off the cheetah."  
Mime bomb "Why the hell didn't you say that was the worst news?"  
Zack "Well the communicator only effects you, whereas the white castle situation effects both of us equally."  
Mime bomb "Oh no, no, no. This is bad, how... vile... oh god."  
As mime bomb begins to another panic attack they hear loud rap music playing in the distance, zack and mime bomb slowly tear around and see zack's car airborne as it scales a hill, the car lands causing sparks to fly from the shocks. Neil patric harris is driving the car with four hot chicks in bikinis. The chicks are all over neil kissing his neck and each other. Zack and mime bomb stand there speechless as neil drives right by them splashing a puddle right in mime bombs face. They stand there, watching silently as neil drives off. Mime bomb is drenched and his makeup is ruined. Muddy water drips from his hair and clothes, he gives zack a dirty look. Zack knows he shouldn't push him any further.

Zack "let's see if we can get a cab back to are hotel."  
Mime bomb poorly fighting back tears simply nods yes.

Zack and mime bomb walk down the road zack visibly disappointed and mime bomb miserable. They round a corner and see the hotdog heaven.  
"Hey look a pay phone." Zack points over to the side of the building. "We can call from there."  
Zack and mime bomb walk over to the parking lot. Their skateboards sitting nearby. Unfortunately they notice a familiar yellow jeep covered in stickers.  
Zack "Oh great, here we go again."  
Cole and the extreme sports punks are playing hacky-sack in the parking lot. They try to pass by the extreme sports punks undetected but sadly they fail.  
Cole "Hey gingy!"  
Cole laughs and the two try to ignore him.  
Cole "Whose running the quik-e-mart while you're gone?"  
Cole pounds his fists with his friends.  
Zack "Fucking asshole."

Suddenly mime bomb stops in his tracks. He notices something through the window he stops zack and points. Through the window they see le chevre and el topo inside, sitting at a both. They both have a dozen donuts and five cartons of milk. It looks as if they just sat down. El topo savers his first bite of a powdered blueberry filled donut and le chevre licks his fingers after finishing his first chocolate cream filled donut. Zack and mime bomb look through the window longingly.  
Mime bomb "I want that."  
Zack "A chocolate cream filled?"  
Mime bomb "No, I want that feeling. That feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. I need that feeling."  
Zack "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"  
Mime bomb "We gotta go to white castle."  
Zack gives mime bomb a hug.  
Zack "I knew you had it in you."  
Before ether of them can say anything else mime bomb gets hit in the back of the head with a hacky-sack, cole and his friends laugh at him.  
Zack "Hey why don't you leave us alone!"  
Cole "Oh yeah what are you going to do about it?"  
Cole then act's like a mime trapped in a box.  
The two are quiet for a moment as they look at cole's little routine. Then mime bomb let's out a laugh, before turning around and walking through the hotdog heaven entrance. Zack follows and in the background cole and the punks are laughing about how lame mime bomb is.

Zack "I'm so sick of their bullshit!"  
Mime bomb "Don't worry the universe tends to unfold as it should."  
Zack gives him a "what the fuck are you talking about" look.  
Mime bomb "Besides I have a plan, follow my lead."  
Mime bomb walks past the entrance and heads toward the yellow jeep at a brisk pace. Zack follows. Mime bomb grabs cole's keys from the hood of the jeep and passes them to zack whose on the driver's side and they get in. One of the extreme sports punks notices them.  
Sports punk 3 "Hey, cole, look!"  
Cole turns around and sees the two of them in his car. Zack puts the car in reverse and almost hits the punks.  
Zack "I can't believe where stealing their car, this was your plan?"  
Mime bomb "It's working isn't it?"  
Zack drives the car out of the parking lot. Cole and the street punks give chase on their skateboards.  
Zack "I have in idea."  
Zack slows down to 25 miles per hour so so they think they have a chance to catch up. 

Zack then sticks his head out the window "thank you come agen." He says thickening his boston accent.  
Zack then guns it leving them in the dust. Cole and the punks watch in disbelief as zack and mime bomb drive off with their car.  
Sports punk 1 "Dude, that was NOT extreme!"  
Cole "I know extrem sports punk 1, I know."  
The extreme sports punks walk away leving cole by himself. Meanwhile zack gives mime bomb a high five as they laugh in joy at what they just accomplished.  
Zack "Victory is sweet, nice job mime!"  
Mime bomb "Well I had to do something."  
Zack begins sniffing the air.  
Zack "Do you smell that?"  
Mime bomb sniffes the air as well and turns to the back seat. He reaches to the back and picks something up from the floor. It's a white castle bag. He pours out the contents and we see empty white castle hamburger cartons fall out.  
Zack "Those assholes got to have white castle!"  
Mime bomb "This world is so unfair."  
Zack "Don't worry, forget about that. We have a car now, we're back in the game pretty soon will have are own white castle. Hey how bout you put on some tunes."  
A tape is currently resting in the tape deck so mime bomb just pushes it in. Zack and mime bomb start to giggle at the lame chick song that's playing. (Hollaback girl by Gwen Stefani)  
Zack "Those guys are fucking posers!"

Zack and mime bomb are driving for awhile, and are getting very close to cherry hill. They are listening to yet another lame chick song (Wannabe by the spice girls) and are fully embracing it. The guy's notices the charry hill exit and take it while zack questions every thing but mime bombs enjoys himself as they listen to the next song. (Attention by Todrick Holl)  
A sign reads you are now entering charry hill.  
Zack "Dude where almost there!"

Suddenly zack and mime bomb here a police siren. Mime bomb turns around and sees the police car behind them. Officer bruce a middle aged tough guy with the tooth pick in his mouth to complete it.  
"I found them and I'm going to need back up." Officer Bruce speaks into his police radio.  
The cop car is tailing the jeep and the jeep pulls away.  
Officer Bruce "Oh boy we got a chase on are hands."  
Zack looks determined as he puts the pedal to the metal.  
Mime bomb "What are you doing?"  
Zack "You're not going back to jail, we've come to fair, now buckle up!"  
Mime bomb buckles up and zack makes a sharp left turn and flys straight before it goes around a turn in the road and then cuts into the forest, disappearing into the woods. When the cop makes the turn they pass right by the point where zack and mime bomb entered. The officer puts his foot on the brakes when he realizes there's no one in front of him. Officer bruce gets out of his car and looks around wondering where the yellow jeep went. Then he here's the sound of branches breaking in the forest.

Zack is holding onto the wheel for dear life. Mime bomb is scared as shit, as they bounce up and down.  
Mime bomb "Where the hell are we going?"  
Zack "Just hold on."  
The jeep continues going up hill higher and higher.  
Mime bomb "It's a good thing I have in empty stomach, or else I'd be puking right now!"  
Zack "Don't worry, where going to make it, everything's going to be..."  
They notice there about to drive off a cliff.  
Mime bomb "Shit!"  
Zack "Fuck!"  
Zack hits the brakes as hard as he can. The jeep stops just short of the cliff. Zack and mime bomb get out of the jeep and walk over to the edge of the cliff and look down, it's a very steep drop. But mime bomb notices something in distance. Mime bomb grabs zack's arm and points toward a white castle way down below, about a mile away. Then they hear a police siren coming from back in the woods.  
Mime bomb "Oh shit where trapped!"  
Zack notices something on top of the jeep.  
Zack "Not necessarily."  
Zack walks over the the jeep and points to the hang glider.  
Mime bomb "No, no way, not a chance, I'd rather turn myself in than die."  
Zack "Dude, it's ok. Carm taught us how, I know how to do it, just hang onto the outside bars and let me take care of the rest."  
Mime bomb "No, zack I'm not risking my life over a bunch of hamburgers."  
Zack puts his hands on mime bombs shoulders.  
Zack "You think this is about a bunch of hamburgers huh, well let me tell you that it's about far more than that."  
Zack walks over to the edge of the cliff and looks out onto the early morning horizon. The sun's still rising the seen is very picturesque.  
Zack "Are parents came to this country escaping persecution, poverty, and hunger. Hunger mime bomb. They where very, very hungry. They wanted to live in a land that treated them a equals. A land where there kids could study and get into good colleges. A land filled with hamburger stands. And not just one type of hamburger. Hundreds of types with different sizes, toppings, and condiments. That land was America."  
The police siren is getting louder. Zack turns to mime bomb.  
Zack "You think this is just about the burger's, no, this is about achieving what are parents seat out for. This is about the pursuit of happiness. This is about the American dream.  
Zack walks over to mime bomb.  
Zack "So we've reached this point, the point which all men must face, the point of no return. We can say here get arrested and end are hope of ever getting white castle. Or we can take the hang-glider and make are leap towards freedom. I leave the decision to you."  
From the sound of the siren, it seems like the police are getting closer.  
Mime bomb "I hate you zack."

Zack and mime bomb are about fifteen yards away from the cliffs edge holding onto the hang-glider. The siren getting louder.  
Mime bomb "Hury up there almost here!"  
Zack "Grab on to the end of the bars and hold on tight."  
Mime bomb dose as hes told. They are both holding onto the bars(mime bomb behind zack).  
Zack "Ok here's how this is going to work. On the count of three, we're gonna run to the edge of the cliff. When I say "Jump" launch your self forwarders as if you where diving into a pool, got it?"  
Mime bomb gives him a nervous thumbs up.  
Zack "Don't worry everything's going to be fine, you ready?"  
Mime bomb to nervous to sign anything zack gets into position.  
Zack "Ok here goes, one... two... three!"  
Zack and mime bomb start running towards the cliff.  
Zack "Good job, just keep running!"  
There getting close.  
Zack "Mime bomb there's something I got to tell you, I've never hang-glided before."  
Mime bomb "What!"  
Zack "Jump!"  
Zack and mime bomb jump off the cliff just as the cop arrives. The hang-glider coats through the air for a couple of seconds. Then the guys started going down at a sharp angle.  
Zack "AAAAAAAAA!"  
Mime bomb "AAAAAAAAA!"  
Just then the hang-glider catches onto the wind and starts to gliding through the sky.  
Mime bomb "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!"  
Zack "Dude it's working!"  
Mime bomb "I can't wait you lied to me!"  
Zack "How else was I supposed to convince you to jump off a cliff?"

Officer bruce gets out of his car holding his rifle and runs over to the jeep.  
Officer Bruce "It appears they've escaped. They ditched their jeep."  
Officer bruce opens the front door of the car and looks inside he notices the bag of weed on the dashboard. He opens is and tastes some in the same like sugar.  
Officer Bruce "Good news, I found enough dope in the car to send those skateboard punks to jail for a long time. Looks like they've terrorized there last convenient store."

Are dipshits are gliding through the sky. Zack and mime bomb look down as they soar above the trees.  
Mime bomb "Hey zack?"  
Zack "Yeah?"  
Mime bomb "How are we going to get down?"  
Zack "Well I guess it's just going to go down at some point."  
Mime bomb "That's a great answer, made me feel real comfortable, thanks a lot."  
As there flying the hang-glider starts to go again the wind sending zack and mime bomb down fast.  
Zack "Where going to die, where going to die!"  
Mime bomb "I hate you, I hate you so much!"  
The hang-glider falls straight into tree branches. They appear to have been saved. SNAP! The branch braces off sending zack and mime bomb straight down. They fall about thirty feet hitting branches as they fall. They hit the ground hard and immediately start rolling down hill. Finally stopping when they hit pavement.  
Zack "We lived, ha, ha, where gonna live. See mime bomb that wasn't do bad."  
Mime bomb "That's it... I'm going to kill you!"  
Mime bomb grabs zack by the neck and starts choking him.  
Zack "Stop... I... can't... breathe..."  
Mime bomb "That's the point!"  
Mime bomb keeps strangling zack, who notices something.  
Zack "Mime."  
Mime bomb "You're going to die!"  
Zack "Mime... look!"  
Mime bomb turns around and releases zack from his grasp. Zack catches his breath. Both zack and mime bomb soon stand up, zack putting his arm around mime bomb.  
Zack "We made it bud."  
They start to walk to the white castle. They walk inside shirts all torn and tattered, there body's are scratched up. There covered in dirt. Everyone in the restaurant turns and stares at them. They approach the counter where a teenager is working.  
Teenager "Looks like you guys had some night, huh?"  
Zack "I want thirty sliders, five french fries, and for large charry cokes."  
Mime bomb "Same. But make mine diet."  
Zack "He'll have the same but make them diet."  
Teenager "Wow, that comes to forty-two seventy-five."  
Mime bomb takes out his wallet and opens it up only to find it empty.  
Mime bomb "Hey, hey, where's my money?"  
Zack "Are you kidding me I gave mine to that asshole at the ivy league. Fuck, no dude this isn't happening, alright we didn't make it here and now where broke!"  
"Hey guys let me take care of it, least I can do." A man's voice says from behind them.  
Zack and mime bomb turn around and see neil patric harris finishing his pop.  
Zack "The hell you doing here?"  
Neil "You guys where talking about white castle last night, so much made me start to crave it to."  
Zack "Dude where's my car!?"  
Mime bomb "Where's his car dude?"  
Neil "Hehe, yeah sorry about that, I told you last night I was tripping hard I don't know what came over me, you're car's in the parking lot, here are your keys."  
Zack "Do you realize what we had to go through after you stole are car?"  
Neil "I know, it was a dick move on my part, that's why I'm paying for your meal."  
Zack "Thanks I guess."  
Neil hands them some cash.  
Neil "Here's fifty bucks for the burger's and two hundred for the car."  
Zack "What happened to my car?"  
Neil "I made some... stains in the back seat, you'll see, anyway, take it easy guys, I'll see you around."  
Zack "Where are you going?"  
Neil "Where ever god takes me."  
With that neil puts on his shades and walks out of the restaurant. Zack and mime bomb give each other a look of confusion before getting there food and sitting down. Zack and mime bomb are sitting across from each other looking and the mountain of food they have in front of them.  
Zack "Wait, let's do it together."  
Mime bomb nods and they both pick up a burger and take a bite, savoring the taste. We quickly see them scarf down two more burgers after that and the rest of their meal soon fallows.  
Zack "That hit the spot."  
Mime bomb "Best meal of my life."  
Zack "Mine too."  
The two of them sit there, looking at all the empty containers and wrappers. After a long pause of silence zack speaks.  
Zack "You're names not don is it?"  
Mime bomb "Nope."  
Zack "Thought so. So what's the plan, you can't exactly go back to vile now can you?"  
Mime bomb "I don't know, this night didn't go exactly as planned, hehe, I was hoping for ether a successful mission or at the very least escaping but, neither of those things happened. I don't know what to do.  
Zack "Why don't you come join us?"  
Mime bomb "Do you think carmen would let me?"  
Zack "I don't see why not?"  
Mime bomb "Heh, you don't know are past."  
Zack "That bad huh?"  
Mime bomb "I'm one of the reasons she was trapped at vile."  
Zack "Ooh, so not good, but I'm sure if you explain you want to redeem yourself she might have go easy on you."  
Mime bomb "You sure?"  
Zack "Yeah I'm positive, now let's go check out the damage on my car."  
Zack and mime clean up there table and head outside. 

Zack clicks the unlock feature on his car and takes a look at it.  
Zack "Sigh, I need a new car, not because of this just kind of in general."  
Mime bomb "Why are you even drive this any way, I'd picture you'd guess drive something a bit more built for speed."  
Zack "Yeah well for carmen it was ether the Subaru or a Saturn, sigh, come on let's go talk to carmen."

The end.


End file.
